This year, I received an unexpected Christmas present from my family. They bought me a SmartPhone. I guess they were thinking, “This guy is so dumb, he needs some extra help!” The advantage of this new phone is, it’s bigger, it’s heavier and the battery drains much faster. Anyway, it’s a big improvement on my old phone, which was not so smart, mainly because I had dropped it several times and if you were dropped several times from a great height, you wouldn’t be so smart either, so there!
Now all I need is a Smart-Computer, because when I connected my Smart-Phone to my Not-So-Smart-Computer, it dumped all the contents of my computer onto my new phone. That’s not my idea of smart! I had to spend several days discovering how to remove all of this not-so-smart data from my SmartPhone and disable all the smart software, written by all those smart people, clogging up my not-so-smart computer!…..
Now that I’m much smarter, I can show-off a little. I went to the local food-court and there were two smart cookies at the next table with their smart phones, so I was able to brandish my extra-smart phone with a feeling of smug satisfaction. The biggest benefit of all, though, is that I can now send smart messages to my smart relative, who told me last year she’d bought an email-phone. When I asked, “What’s that?” she said. “I’m not sure. It’s kind of like a phone but you can get email on it. I think you can send email as well, but I don’t know how to do that because I forgot to ask!” A few weeks later, I suddenly received a message. It read, “Now I no how 2 snd msgs 2 U. ttfn!!!” So I wrote back and said, “WTF R U tryng 2 tel me? Ttyl.” I haven’t heard from her since!
I hope everyone had a smart Christmas and I wish everyone a very smart New Year!
PS. If you’re a music lover, I highly recommend this song: Dumb with a Smart Phone. I guarantee you will like it!